


Those Thoughts

by fuskar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, literally just angst im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 14:02:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17184356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuskar/pseuds/fuskar
Summary: Some thoughts you can handle yourself, but not when they fall off the lips of someone else.





	Those Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at the beginning of the year as a way to get some emotions out of my system after some stuff happened so it's real fucking angsty hah. I didn't know if I should even post it but oh well, why not?

It is a cold night in late October. Orange leaves are scattered on the ground, icy wind howling as if it is its last chance at life. From the top of the astronomy tower everything looks small, fitting for how Remus feels. Next to him sits a broken boy, a boy with tears down his cheeks and nothing but sadness in his heart. It is a boy who feels too much but at the same time too little. It is a boy Remus loves. It does not matter how he loves the boy, all that matters is that he  _ does _ . And Remus does love this boy. He loves him so much that his own heart breaks at the mere mention of how broken the boy is.

 

But there is nothing Remus can do. There is nothing he can do for the boy except sit next to him, hold him, try to reassure him.

 

Some will say that is enough but it is not for Remus.

 

He knows how it feels to be broken, he knows how it feels to not know anything other than the pain, the sadness. He knows the thoughts that run through the boys mind, he knows the words the boy whisper to him. He knows it all too much.

 

Words leave the boys mouth that make hidden tears crawl down Remus’ face because he knows them so well.

 

He looks down at the ground beneath them with a feeling of dread. This could be it if one of them, both of them, wanted. Instinctively he reaches out for the sad boys hand. To keep him from the ledge or to keep himself from it he does not really know.

 

A whisper of the boys name on Remus’ lips, so careful it might never have happened. He gazes up at the sky, up at the darkness and tries to find the namesake of the boy. Remus tries to find something eternal, something that is purely him and will always be. What is more eternal to them than a star?

 

The star could already be dead for all they know. It could be dead but still shining its last life at them. And what could be more fitting for the boy than how his star is both as eternal as well as uncertain as himself.

 

Words never uttered to anyone fills the space between them. Phrases that mean so much but in the moment go unnoticed. Or maybe they go noticed but unmentioned, instead treasured and kept safe.

 

Remus knows his own thoughts, has come used to them. He knows they are bad but he knows he can handle it. Maybe not handle it well, but handle it in some way. He knows he will be alive for at least a while longer.

 

As soon as a hint of Remus’ own thoughts are sighted even near the mind of the boy next to him he breaks. Because that is the thing with these kind of thoughts. They never seem as bad as when they fall from the lips of someone you love.


End file.
